Sex stories

Sex stories




Secret Smiles and Three Little Words Pt. 21

The crowd filtered by her, commenting on the details she had included. The scene she had created was a story of the city of Chicago. From the very beginning, to present day, the city changing as it moved down the wall, from early times, to the rise of skyscrapers. The Chicago fire was there, bold and bright as it engulfed the city in her swirls of orange and red paint. Then the rise of the Windy City from the ashes afterward.

Moving down, the city changed as you walked. Growing as you went, then around the edges, there were those who made Chicago. From celebrities like Oprah, Bill Murray and Harold Ramis. To sports stars like Michael Jordan, Dick Butkus, and Ryne Sandberg. Politicians Judy Baar Topinka, Richard M. Daley and other political shakers. To musicians like Kanye West, R. Kelly, Buddy Guy and Koko Taylor.

Chicago's dark side made it as well, Al Capone, John Dillinger were represented in their time frame of the city, the speakeasies and girls in flapper dresses. Bozo the Clown with his bright red hair and nose, with his counterpart Cookie. The Cubs, the Bulls. White Sox and Blackhawks. Da Bears. Their colorful logo or mascot representing their location in the city.

Alex managed to make all of Chicago available. The food. The Lake. Museums and music. People pointed out all the details. Alex saw Gabby staring in disbelief.

"What do you think?" Alex asked her with a smile.

"This...is utterly fantastic!" she gasped. "How did you do this?"

"You," she smiled. "You took a chance on an unknown."

"You are amazing!" Gabby smiled as she hugged her. "This...is worth talking about!"

"Not mad that I changed it?" Alex smiled.

"Not at all!" Gabby assured her. "There will be people who walk by this every day and see something they didn't see before!"

"That was the goal," Alex nodded.

Alex found Gavin by the wall, she smiled at what he was looking at.

"Found yourself, did you?" she asked softly. He nodded. "I couldn't possibly leave the most important thing, to me anyway, in Chicago out!"

Gavin was there at what she painted was a party in the time of prohibition. Girls all around him, he in a tuxedo. Looking over his shoulder at what faded into the next scene which just happened to coincide with the logo of the Chicago Wolves minor league hockey team. It fit in perfectly as the Wolves play at the Rosemont Horizon which is near the part of the city in which he was standing in the painting. He smiled at the symbolism she put into it. Only the two of them would get it, but it was there.

"Alex," Gavin shook his head.

"Did you see Madelyn?" Alex asked pointing her out as she took Gavin's hand. He smiled when he saw her.

Of all the comments she was concerned about, his was the most troublesome. He was so quiet she was concerned he would be angry that he was so prominently displayed in her painting. But his comment was the one she was desperate to hear.

"This is absolutely worth suffering a cold shower for!" he teased as he leaned into her and placed a kiss on her temple.

"Never going to live that one down am I?" Alex exhaled deeply. Relieved.

"Not as long as I can get something out of it," he laughed. "You outdid yourself here."

He took her into his arms and kissed her.

"That was some speech," he said softly.

"Got a little carried away there," she whispered within his grip. "Sorry, I...," she didn't finish.

"I'm not," he whispered. She looked up at him. "I'm just afraid you may be expecting too much of me." Alex frowned. That was not what she wanted to hear. He gently kissed her lips but she wanted more. Not just in his kiss.

"I don't want to bring up a minor flaw with your speech," he smiled at her ruefully.

"Just one?" she shook her head.

"You didn't thank your mother," he pointed out softly hoping to not make her feel buried in guilt for the omission.

"I thanked my parents," she said with a shrug.

"Yes but your father was singled out, as was Lena, Maole, Gabby and me," he said taking his fingers through her hair. "But not your mother."

"I didn't," she shrugged, it wasn't a question. It was a statement.

"I take it that it was intentional?" Gavin frowned.

"Does that make me a bad person?" she asked him softly.

"It depends on the why," he told her lifting her head to look at her.

"My mother has been dead set against my whole way of life," she told him her eyes tearing up. "My art was always put down by her, from contests I would enter in Jr. High, to high school. She refused to allow my father to help pay for college, like they did my older sisters, because I wanted an art degree."

"She said if I wanted their help I needed to pick a degree that would be worth something, not some degree that wasn't worth the paper it was printed on," she continued slowly as they moved down the wall together.

"So I did it on my own," she told him with a shrug.

Gavin said nothing, just moving along with her pointing out things on the wall that he liked.

"When I was accepted into the School of Art Institute in Chicago, she threw a big fit! When I decided on that school, she packed my things and had them in boxes when I got home," she said wiping a tear away when it slipped out. He squeezed her tightly to his side in comfort.

"When they would come here to visit, she would find something to ruin it. Either where I lived, who was there, boyfriends were especially easy prey. The fact I had to work at a restaurant to make ends meet!" She shook her head.

"Nothing pleased her, she always found something and picked a fight. It seems she was trying to break me down so I would come crawling back to Pennsylvania to them so she could give me the 'I told you so' speech. I can't tell you how much I despise 'I told you so' speeches!"

"My dad helped on the sly, when mother wasn't looking," Alex continued. "But you heard her last night! I mean, the way she went after you!"

"That's a parent's job!" he laughed showing her it was no big deal.

"Would your parents have done that?" she asked him. He shook his head.

"No," he said firmly. "What I told you was the truth, my parents would have adored you! Not saying they didn't critique some of my choices but they were always respectful. You, they would have adored!"

"I wish I could have met them," Alex said softly.

"Me too!" Gavin laughed. "My mother would have made sure this relationship lasts more than a year!"

"How so?" Alex laughed.

"She would have been pushing the marriage thing, grandkids...the lot!" he said with a shake of his head.

She frowned. It would have been nice to have an ally like that! Someone who meant the world to him, pushing from one side while she tried to win him from the other.

Chapter 23*

Alex walked towards the Expo, today was its grand opening. The first day the world was introduced to Alexandria Lasko. Gavin had gone on a call, but promised to meet her there. She was giddy. Her feet seemingly hovering over the sidewalk instead of walking on it. There were a ton of things going right in her life now and she couldn't help but connect them to Gavin and this new lifestyle!

She smiled when she saw him. He was sitting on the park bench he had become so familiar with, the one he would watch her from as she worked. One she didn't know he occupied until Lena told her. How selfish was that? To not notice the man she loved sitting there? She felt the guilt rise in her again.

She saw the loving lunches and the worry on his face. The tenderness he showered her with at home. She never really thanked him for any of it. She was just so overwhelmed with the work on the wall she just didn't have time, but looking back, all benefited her. She just didn't notice while he was doing them so much, as her mind was on nothing but the wall.

It wasn't until after Lena brought it up that she noticed that, of the things he was doing for her, nothing benefited him. He had lost weight with his worry about her. Gavin put off his patients at times for her and put his own needs to the side.

She pushed it from her mind as that only brought guilt as well. Guilt he wouldn't let her address by saying it was no big deal, that he liked watching her. It pleased him, he told her, dismissing her apology as unnecessary.

Her parents were finally gone. Gavin had convinced them to stay for a couple of days after the unveiling. To visit, he said, but she was glad when they left. She was tired of her mother's glares when she would say something to Gavin, or touch him with her hands. Or, heaven forbid, kiss him! Her father told her to ignore it. She was happy, that is all that mattered.

Gavin and her father got along fantastically, which pleased her a great deal. There was only one person that mattered more than her father, and she had proclaimed her love to him in front of everybody!

She grimaced as she remembered Gavin's words to her after, tinting her revelry that day. That she may be expecting too much from him. Not that he loved her too, not that he was flattered. Just that she was expecting too much from him. Like love in itself was an impossibility for him.

She sat next to him as he smiled, fixated on her wall. She looked over and saw people looking at it, inspecting it and pointing out things they liked, having their picture taken in front of it like it was an important landmark itself.

"What do you think when you see that?" he asked her softly. He pointed his head towards the family having their picture taken in front of her creation.

"I'm flattered," she smiled. "To think that people will remember a part of Chicago by that picture. To think I had some small part of their memory."

"I envy you," Gavin smiled as he nodded, but it wasn't his traditional smile. This was more of a grimaced smile, one that was both happy and sad. She looked to him with questioning eyes.

"Why?" she finally asked him when she couldn't read him, nor did he elaborate.

"To have done something...something that will inspire. To have left a mark that will live beyond you," he said softly. The awe in his voice caused her heart to sputter.

"Do you know how many people I have seen touch your work today, and I know that it has inspired them, or has touched them in some meaningful way?" She shook her head but he didn't look at her.

"Hundreds," he said with a soft snort. "I have sat here for over two hours, I have watched people walk up to it, touch it, point something out that drew their attention, caught their eye or spoke to them even," he said looking at her.

"You have made a difference," he said turning back. "You are lucky, not many people do. Most just go through life running through the motions. Existing."

"Do you believe you don't make a difference?" Alex asked him seeing the disappointment in himself. He said nothing.

"Gavin," she shook her head as she picked up his hand. "You are a doctor!"

"You make it sound like that is something enviable," he smiled.

"It is!" she gasped in disbelief. "How many people would love to be a doctor? To be that smart? To save lives?"

"You think because I'm a doctor I make a difference? That I'm smart?" he chuckled without humor.

"Yes," she said firmly.

"You think I have done something significant?" he asked her.

"You change lives, by helping people. Your patients," she pointed out.

"Using your logic then," he started as he leaned back. "In the time I have sat here, you have done more good, in those two hours, than I have in the eight years as a doctor."

"How do you figure?"

"I have seen hundreds of people be touched by your work," he pointed out. "I service less than a hundred patients."

"You have done more good in a couple of hours than I have in my life," he said softly.

She shook her head. He was making her angry. How could he think so little of himself? It made her wonder what was this really all about.

"Do you think an auto mechanic is smart?" Gavin asked her, the changing of gears in the conversation had her furrowing her brow in confusion so she did the only thing she could think of, she shrugged. He looked to her showing that a shrug wouldn't do.

"I guess some are," Alex told him trying to read where this conversation was going.

"Do you think a mechanic is as smart as me?" he asked her pointedly. This caused her to laugh.

"Not even close," she said firmly shaking her head.

"Why?"

"What do you mean, why?" she scoffed. "You went to med school!"

"So because I can read a book and remember better than some, I'm smarter?" He continued his baffling line of thought. She nodded. Gavin laughed while he shook his head.

"You know, most people would agree with you," Gavin frowned. "That is what society tells them to believe. Doctors are smarter than greasy auto mechanics." Alex watched him.

"I've got news for you," Gavin smiled. "There is no way I could work on a car. I have taken shop classes and nearly failed! Sure, I can diagnose a patient and prescribe the right medicine for them. But if my car starts to sputter...forget it! I'm totally lost! I can barely find the dipstick in the motor! I know where the dipstick in the cabin of the car is!" He laughed as he nudged her in his joke.

"That doesn't make you dumb," she pointed out.

"No it means that we are all smart in certain things," he said to her.

"Gavin," she shook her head. "Where are you going with this?"

"It means we are all equal. Would you agree? That we all have some talent, that we all have some sort of gift that we are better at than others?" Gavin asked with a sigh, she nodded cautiously. "So if we are all equal, how do we measure ourselves?" Alex looked to him blankly. She was completely lost.

"What I mean is," Gavin began to explain as he could tell he had lost her. "We all have something we are good at. You have art, my mechanic can make my car sing. I can make people feel better. All equally important. So on death's bed, and we look back at the things we have done...how do we know we were successful in life? Is it who has the most money? Power? How do we measure success?"

"I don't know," Alex admitted.

"I think, in the end, we look back and see the people we touch, the people we inspire, the lives we change," he told her. "To me, that is the most important. Some will say money, some will say power. Some will say family even."

"I personally have found, in the end, no amount of money is better than influencing another person's life. Whether that person be a family member or friend or even a complete stranger, as you are doing right now with your wall. The adage of money can't buy happiness is right. I work with people with all the money they will ever need. But are they happy? Are they immortal because of it? No, in the end, they die. The only thing that separates us is, did we leave an impact? Did we make a difference? Did we use the gifts God gave us to make the world a better place?"

"So you think you haven't made an impact?" Alex asked him seeing a ray of light in his thinking.

"I think," he started, the he shrugged with a shake of his head. "I don't know."

"So," Alex began her game of chess with him again. "How many people do you have to impact before you consider yourself a success? How many lives do you have to change? Because obviously that is what you are going to measure yourself by, you don't care about money and you don't care about power. If you are going to measure your life by touching people's lives or impacting people positively, then what is the number you need to deem yourself a success?"

"There isn't a set number," Gavin laughed. "Right now? One would be fine."

"One?" Alex smiled picking up his hand and pulling him up.

"One person," he smiled seeing the look of determination on her face that reminded him of when she worked. One he loved.

She pulled him to the wall and lifted his hand and placed it there.

"Feel that?" she asked him. He shrugged. Now it was Gavin's turn to not know where she was going. "This is the influence you have on me!"

"It's not the same," he said with a shake of his head seeing her angle.

"Why?" she asked him pointedly. "Because you physically didn't brush the colors on?"

"Exactly," he smiled. She smiled as her trap sprang. "What is that grin for?"

"Because," she said coming close. "You put the base color on. Without you, this doesn't get done. Yes I may take the glory of the colors, but it's the base color that makes this come to life. Without it, it's impossible for the colors to shine! It's the color behind the bright ones that make it pop! Most people don't know the lives they influence. I do. I'm lucky in that. I know that without you, this wall isn't here!"

He rolled his eyes as he saw what she did. She smiled at him. He hooked his arm around her and pulled her into the line for the Expo.

"Remind me to never play chess with you!" he admired. "Thanks. I needed that."

"You're welcome," she smiled. "I know you think you haven't done anything, and nothing I can say will change that thought, but only because you won't allow it. But you have made a difference. You made a difference in my life. In turn, I have made a difference in others. You are as much a reason for that wall as I am. Take pride it that!"

She could tell he was somewhat placated by her words as his smile came back out. She could still see the underlying disillusionment in his job. She could see his point there, he only worked for people who had money. Most were CEOs or politicians who only thought of money and power. Gavin didn't care about either, but it surrounded him, dragging him down to its level. His disillusionment with his job would be something she would like to fix, if she could.

Walking around the Expo, they enjoyed the massive amount of food that was available. From hot dogs to pizza. From pasta dishes to polish sausage. If you couldn't find something you liked here, you were impossible to please. If you had a craving, it was at this Expo.

The beer tent was popular as they had a multitude of domestic and foreign flavors to be sampled and Alex was sampling them with smile. She was enjoying the music, the atmosphere, but most especially...the company.

"I need another beer," she said to him over the band as they played. "Do you want one?"

"I'll get it," he said as he left her. She shook her head. She should have known he wasn't going to allow her to go get it! She turned to watch the band, dancing with the music, cheering at the end of every song.

"Alex!" the voice carried over the music behind her. She turned with a smile but it disappeared slightly when she saw her.

"Elizabeth!" She said as the dark haired goddess engulfed her in a hug. Alex returned it warmly but when she opened her eyes she saw him. Royce. She mustered her best smile and turned her eyes to Elizabeth. Trying to push out the negative thoughts of Kelly in the hospital at the hands of the animal behind Elizabeth.

"How are you?" Alex asked her.

"Good!" Elizabeth told her with a nod.

Alex gave her a solid look over. She was thinner, her eyes had some puffiness to them to match the dark circles under them. Overall she looked tired.

"You ok?" Alex asked her. "You look a little worn down!"

"I am a little," Elizabeth told her. "The job thing is running me ragged!"

"Yeah," Alex nodded.

She didn't know why that was bothering her, perhaps it was because she never noticed her being worn down before when she lived with Gavin. Then again it was only a matter of a few weeks after she became involved before Elizabeth moved out. So maybe it was the job. But something about her was putting Alex off and she couldn't pinpoint what it was.

Then again the asshole behind her had her put off too. He seemed to be hovering around, then looking on Alex lustfully. Maybe Alex was misreading it, but she considered herself an attractive girl. She had been looked on by random guys before and knew they were checking her out or lusting after her. She knew, as any woman would know, what that look was all about.
"I saw the wall! It was magnificent!" Elizabeth told her, bringing Alex's focus back to her.

"Thanks," Alex smiled.

She was trying to keep her eyes on Elizabeth but they would drift from time to time to the new Dom behind her. Alex was trying to ignore him as best she could but her contempt for him was bubbling. Then she thought about Gavin. What would he do if he came back and saw Royce? Or Elizabeth for that matter. She hoped this was just a quick hug and go, she was having a hard time keeping Gavin upbeat as it was. To have Elizabeth here could bring him down again.

"Beth," Gavin's voice told her the worst of the worst possible scenarios was playing out.

"Gavin," Elizabeth forced her smile. She looked him over then lowered her eyes. Alex watched and said a silent prayer this didn't blow up.

Gavin reached out and stroked her face.

"You look tired," Gavin pointed out immediately.

"Job," she smiled as she enjoyed his touch again. It was obvious to Alex and her jealousy spiked. Gavin removed it when he realized he was doing it. A momentary lapse of protocol on another's sub.

"Well," Gavin frowned. "Don't let it get you too far down, you'll get sick again."

"I'll try," she smiled sadly seeing the distance he was putting up with his standoffish tone.

"Did you see Alexandria's work?" Gavin smiled proudly as he took her hand.

"I did," Elizabeth smiled looking at them holding hands. It made her yearn for earlier times.

"It was spectacular, as if Alex could do anything less!" Elizabeth forced out happiness when what she truly felt was jealousy.

"I agree," Gavin nodded. "Alexandria is spectacular."

"Well," Elizabeth frowned taking note of the way he said her name. "We should get going, Royce's dad has a get together in a few hours. It's a big deal, Royce is up for...,"

"Beth," Royce stopped her.

"Sorry," she smiled. "He likes his little secrets!" Elizabeth laughed still looking at the way they were holding hands. It was affectionately, it made her look to Royce in a hope he would do the same. But the one thing she had learned about Royce, he was not affectionate!

Alex laughed with her as the men stared at one another. Neither wanted to be in the presence of the other, but neither would walk away. As if they did, it would be some sort of defeat. Elizabeth took Alex in her arms and hugged her warmly.

"I miss you," she said to Alex.

"Me too," Alex smiled as she pulled away. "Once you calm down from work, let's go out and get something to eat...shop...something!"

"Deal!" Elizabeth smiled. "Nice to see you again, Gavin." She said softly and it appeared she wanted to hug him but his demeanor told her not to try and she knew Royce would go red in fury.

"Beth, take care of yourself," Gavin told her with a forced smile. She nodded and the two of them walked away. Royce stopping from time to time to smile and shake hands with someone. A possible voter. Glad handing like a proper politician.

"Are you ok?" Alex asked him softly.

"Yes," he laughed like it was crazy for her to ask.

"You can't fool me, Sir," she told him. "I love you too much."

"I know," he sighed. "I'm sorry. Just a bit put off."

"I understand," she smiled with a shrug. "I wonder what their little secret get together was about?"

"Royce's dad is retiring before the end of his term," Gavin told her still glaring at the couple as they intermixed with the crowd. "He is putting Royce in his seat with some sort of back alley deal."

Alex looked on him surprised.

"I work with money," he reminded. "Those with money know politicians. It's no secret in my circle. But if his father thinks that man is going to be President? Well, he doesn't have that type of support. Taking his Daddy's Senate seat is one thing, taking the White House is another! Neither are liked enough for that!"

"Royce is going to run for President?" Alex asked him stunned as she looked to the couple walking away.

"That's the rumor," he frowned as he handed her a beer.

"Do you think he has a chance?" Alex asked him with a small smile. Alex was happy for Elizabeth as she knew it was Elizabeth's dream to be with a man with power. She was happy Elizabeth was getting what she wanted.

"Why?" he asked her coldly, misjudging the reason for her smile. "Want to join Elizabeth and ride his coat tails?"

At first she thought it was a bad joke, she turned to him and saw the harshness in his eyes. Daring her. Instantly her temper surged over and it spewed before she could reign it in.

"Go fuck yourself!" Alex growled, angry that he would think so little of her, to think that was even a thought in her mind. "Asshole! And no, I don't mean that as a compliment either!" She stormed off, dropping the newly bought beer in the trash can as she left the music area, furiously brushing those in the crowd that got in her path. That hurt! To insinuate that she would be interested in a shithead like Royce? What was he thinking? Just because Elizabeth was stupid to buy into the power, she wasn't. It hurt to have him say that, to even think that.

Storming away she thought about what she was doing, what she had said. He was hurt, she had to remember that, but it didn't mean he had to hurt her in return.

It was hours later before he made it to the condo, she was sitting on the couch when he came in. She could feel his anger as he enter the door. It was the way he dropped his keys on the table instead of setting them down. The way the door closed with a thud.

He came around and saw her but neither said anything. She was still angry as well. It wasn't fair what he said to her. The entire time she sat there waiting for him, she thought of Pavy's words of caution. It made her wonder, would this be how he would push her away? The jabs of anger? The coldness?

How much could she stand? How much of it could she put up with? If the one smack of insult caused her to storm away from him, how much would she tolerate? Was this the beginning? Or the end? Fuck! How did she wind up falling in love with someone who may never love her back? This was going to hurt! The BDSM lifestyle had better prepare her for the pain. But what could hurt more than a broken heart? She sniffled as she thought about it, a cold one she decided.

"I'm sorry," Alex tried.

"It's fine," he said gruffly in a tone that screamed it most certainly wasn't fine.

"That hurt," she tried to explain. He looked to her as she stood up to go to him. She could feel the temperature of the room drop the closer she got to him. The coldness he was putting off, warning her to stay away. She was just too stubborn to listen to it.

"You obviously don't care," she whispered when he didn't apologize or try to explain.

"I warned you that you may be expecting too much from me," he told her firmly.

She wondered why he didn't just reach out and physically strike her. It would have hurt less than what he was doing now.

"Ouch," she whispered.

"I think you really need to think about your role here," he said to her in a tone that warned her that the end was near.

"I thought you said this wasn't role playing? This was a lifestyle?" she punched back instinctively.

"Take caution in your tone," he warned her.

"You think your spankings are more painful than your words?" she whispered.

Perhaps he wasn't going to push her away. Perhaps she was going to blow it up all on her own. He moved away from her towards the bedroom.

"I'm not Elizabeth," she said to him stopping him at the doorway.

"I never said you were," he said back, his anger draining with each word. He knew better, and regret began to fill him.

"You said it loud and clear when you put me in the same boat when you insinuated that I would even consider being in the same room as that piece of shit!" she told him.

"I didn't mean to insinuate anything," he frowned, he left his back to her but dropped his head letting her know she hit her mark.

"That hurt," she repeated.

"I'm sorry," he said to her as he turned.

"Let's get all our cards on the table, shall we?" she asked him.

"What do you mean?"

"I'm not Elizabeth," she said again.

"I know," he agreed.

"I'm not Carla," she said this a little softer knowing the name alone would crush him.

"I know," he whispered.

"If you think for one second," she said firmly, coming to him. "That you will just say a few words and I'll be gone...you are shit out of luck!" This caused him to grin. "I'm one tough bitch when I have to be."

"That I do know!" he smiled as she put her arms around his neck. He enclosed his arms around her.

"I love you," she said to him. "That means I'm here for the duration. Not one year, not a couple of months. The sub gets to end it, that's what you said. Get ready Sir. I'm not going anywhere."

"Hmm," he smiled as he looked on her in admiration.

"Don't ever hurt me that way again," she warned him. He lost his smile.

"Or what?"

"Or I'm going to make your life a living hell!" she whispered in his ear. "No spankings, no discipline will ever hurt me the way you did today."

"I won't do it again," he promised.

"Thank you, Sir," she smiled as she kissed him.

Later that evening Gavin sat in the bed, the TV on while he watched the news. His mind on what Alex said to him today. He was wrong to take his frustrations out on her. Then to think she was anything like Elizabeth who foolish at best. Cruel at worst. If there was one thing he learned, Alex was nothing like Elizabeth. Was Alex right and he cared for Elizabeth more than he was willing to allow himself to believe? It clouded his thoughts now.

"Hey," he called out. "Hurry up, the piece on you is next!" He told her after seeing the promo for the upcoming news stories after the commercial break. Alex came out of the bathroom, the wisps of steam from the hot shower following her.

She slid into bed, naked, and put her head on his stomach as she watched the TV with him. She gently stroked the inside of his thigh the way he was stroking her wet hair. It was cold against his stomach but he said nothing as he was beginning to enjoy the comfort he felt with her around. A feeling of contentment he hadn't had but one other time. He felt...well he couldn't honestly put into words his feelings. The main thing was, he felt.

He let his fingers move from her hair to back. The tan skin rippling with goosebumps that made him smile. He loved to watch her receptiveness to his touch. The way her body told him without words that she loved the way he was touching her. Simplistic things like a small brush of his fingers on her skin. He then thought about how much pleasure he was receiving from that alone. More than he had ever received from Elizabeth. Such a simple thing, but it made a world of difference.

He thought to her three little word proclamation. 'I love you'. To most that would mean the world. To him? It was scaring the hell out of him. He would never admit it to her, but he was afraid. He smiled, he also knew he didn't have to tell her. She already knew he was afraid. She also knew why. How long would she go without demanding some sort of similar proclamation?

"Oh my God!" she gasped as she came on the TV. "Is that what my hair looked like today? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Jesus Christ!" Gavin laughed. "The things you worry about! Really? Your hair looks great! You're beautiful!"

"Oh my God I look like a fucking troll!" she complained. This caused Gavin to laugh heartily. Alex said nothing until he was done.

"I love your laugh," she smiled as she kissed his stomach. "You are always so serious. So focused. It's like music when you let it go."

"The things you say," he smiled using her words against her. Once the interview was over he shut the TV off. She turned over to look at him still leaving her head on him.

"Why do you believe that you haven't done anything?" she asked him.

"I haven't," he grunted in a half laugh.

"You don't think treating the sick is something?" she asked him.

"Little one, I treat sex injuries, the occasion cough, high blood pressure, acidity," he shrugged. "I'm not trying to solve Cancer. I'm not trying to solve the AIDS epidemic. I'm helping the filthy rich with their perceived serious illnesses."

"Perceived?" she asked.

"Baby," he shook his head. He knew she wouldn't understand as no one did. "I got into medicine for one reason, but now I'm doing it for the exact opposite. I don't help people like I thought I would. I'm treating self-inflicted wounds mostly. The people I treat, stress themselves so much about moving up the money and power ladder they give themselves these problems. High blood pressure and ulcers from stress and bad diet."

She nodded that she understood.

"So you want to do something meaningful," she said with a nod.

"I want to make a difference," he told her in a whisper. "Helping somebody remove an anal toy from their ass, is not making a difference. Helping them stay healthy so they can make another million dollars that they are never going to spend on humanity, is not making a difference."

"You know," she smiled. "You don't have to do those things."

"I know," he smiled. "Which is why I hate myself, I'm in this mess with them and I'm so afraid of trying to change. I don't do change very well. I'm a creature of habit."

"I've noticed," she laughed.

"What do you mean?" he laughed with her.

"You always put your keys in the exact same spot, you have the very same routine in the morning. Up, shower, eat breakfast, brush your teeth, computer, then you start your day," she told him.

"Everything in this house has a very specific spot," she continued. "I put my bag anywhere, but it always ends up in the same spot. Which is where you put it, by the bedroom door in that chair." She said this as she looked over at it. "See? I know for a fact I didn't put it there, I can't remember where I put it, but I know it wasn't there!"

"You dropped it on the couch," he smiled. "I put it there in case you get the urge to draw and leave me in a lurch again!"

"Oh man, here we go!" she laughed as she moved towards him and kissed his lips gently. "Know this Sir," she said against his lips. Her soft lips gently brushing his as she spoke, her breath hot against his skin. "You have made a difference. You have made a difference in me." She moved back and stroked his face softly.

"I know that doesn't mean that much," she said softly.

"It means the world!" he stopped her. "You don't understand how much...,"

"Explain it to me!" she begged.

"You're right," he said after staring at her. "I'm in this life trying to stay protected. As a Dom I'm in control. Trying to stop things like...," he paused as his jaw shook.

"Like Carla from ever happening to me again," he finally forced her name from his lips.

"You can't save those who do not want to be saved!" she said firmly to him.

"That sounds like Pavy," he smiled.

"Ok," she said looking to the ceiling trying to figure out a way to say it to him. "Let's say one of your clients gets diabetes." He nodded as he followed her. "If that client won't eat the right foods, won't stay away from the sweets, what happens?"

"He will probably become insulin dependent," Gavin said.

"Then if he doesn't watch his numbers?" she smiled as she read him. He was seeing where she was going with this.

"Look, you can only help that client if he is willing to make changes! If he dies because of diabetic shock or whatever, that's not your fault. You told them what the repercussions are. You warned them. You gave them what they needed to save them. But ultimately, everyone has to make a choice."

She took hold of his face and kissed his lips.

"Carla made hers...Elizabeth made hers," she said never leaving his lips. She moved to the side of his head and put her lips next to his ear. "I've made mine, then only one who hasn't made a choice...is you."

"What?" he laughed.

"You are miserable doing what you are doing," she pointed out. "Like a diabetic, you have to make a lifestyle choice. If you don't, then your death is certain. Maybe not a physical one, but the emotional one."

He tilted his head at her as he thought about it.

"There," she smiled. "As your emotional doctor, I have diagnosed you and have a prescription for you."

"And that is?" he grinned.

"Forgive yourself," she said softly. "Carla wasn't your fault. Elizabeth is a fool. If you don't like where you stand, move. If you don't like your life, make a change. But most of all, if you don't love yourself...give yourself a reason to and remove the things that are keeping you from loving yourself."

He nodded as he thought.

"I love you," she said again. "There is a lot to love about you. From your laughter, to your tenderness, to this big heart you possess!" She said putting her hand on his chest. "But until you love yourself...you will never love someone else!"

He leaned into her and kissed her. Gently at first, then more passionately as it grew between them. His hands holding her head softly, she moved to straddle him with her knees resting on either side of his hips as he pulled her tight to his body. The warmth of each other's skin intermingling.

His kisses were setting her on fire, the way his hands moved on her body. Slowly following her curves. They made their way around to her breasts and he cupped them gently. Then slid them around to her back to pull her tighter to him, seemingly wanting to pull her into his body. All the while his lips tasted hers, never moving from them. Never stopping.

He rolled her over to her back and he was hovering over her, her heart pounding against his. She smiled as he pulled back slightly to stare in her eyes.

"You are absolutely stunning," he whispered. "I'm find myself waiting to wake up from this dream...then begging for it to not end."

"I'm not a dream," she whispered back as he began to nuzzle her ear. "I'm here. Right here and I'm not going anywhere!"

"Thank you," he whispered as he began to move lower on her. His lips gently caressing her flesh as he moved over her. His tongue trailing lower causing her body to shake with excitement.

He made it to her nipples slowly, driving her mad with passion in the process. His lips catching her nipple and sucking it gently until it hardened like a firm pink eraser in his hot mouth. His eyes watched her as he trailed over to her other breast and she sighed as he treated that nipple with the same softness. Her hands pulled him closer to her, his mouth suckling her breast.

He released her nipple and moved lower making her whimper slightly in pleasure, his tongue following her mid line on her stomach. He reached her belly button and let his tongue dip into it which brought a pleasurable gasp from her. The goosebumps were constant now, awash on her body showing him with every touch of his lips what she was feeling.

Lower he continued, down to her hip bone. He nuzzled it, using his tongue to French kiss there, before kissing his way over to the other side and worked its partner. Hips that he watched work today with the music that played. Hips that had him hypnotized as she danced.

At the time, he admired that she was a prime example of female perfection. He watched as other men admired her as well. She was oblivious to them though, her eyes when open were on him then her secret smile would come out for him taking his breath away. When she danced, her eyes were closed as she immersed herself in the music. Her body swaying and moving with the beat. Sometimes lowering herself a little when the music commanded her body to do so.

Her cutoff jeans, and short tank that lifted when she raised her hands while dancing revealing her flat stomach. Both of which revealed her supple skin to the sun as it shone its personal spotlight on her letting those around her admire her fully. As if God himself was saying, this is what I created.
There was a lot to admire, both to him and other men as well. He was never jealous before but a nugget formed in his gut. But when she looked at him it all washed away. He could tell she only had eyes for him.

He admired every inch of her, from her hair that she kept pushing over her ear all day. Those perfect little ears, with their diamond studs in them. Earlobes that made him want to devour them. To her blue eyes, blue like the sky. Blue that made you stare, whether you wanted to or not.

Her little impish nose, its upturn at the tip that he loved to kiss. Then the lips that resided just under, a soft pink, until he kissed them, then they darkened with her passion. Lips that spoke words that moved his coldness to the side. Lips that made him laugh. Lips that let out a sigh when he kissed them. Her chin just below that, firm, able to take a blow from a boxer if needed. It set her whole face in determination when she worked.

Her body was tight, now due to the wall it was a bit on the thin side, something he would have to get her to work on. She had lost too much weight during her sixteen hour days at the wall. But now that she was done he hoped she would go back to eating regularly.

Her breasts were a perfect size. Not too big, not too small. A handful. Her nipples that hardened so easily. Then her sex, it looked beautiful when she revealed it to him. He knew she wasn't lying about the number of men she had been with. Her soft folds were tight and were delicious to taste. A forbidden fruit that he relished in tasting.

She was perfect in every way. Physically for sure, but that was the small part. This one, this Little One, had something he had never had before. He couldn't place it. But it had him hooked. Like a drug, a good one though.

His lips found her sex already anticipating him. It was soft, warm and moist. Just from his kisses and that forced him to smile as he nuzzled there. Amazing! He licked the outer lips gently. Her hips lifted off the bed, inviting him deeper. Not yet Little One he smiled.

He stayed on the outside, his tongue causing her soft moans. He looked up at her and saw her eyes closed, her head arching into her pillow. He dipped into her causing her body to shake. He tasted her sweetness and found it maddening. The drug of Alexandria began to coarse through his veins.

He pushed harder into her now as his own need grew. He had to taste more of her, more of her depth, and she arched farther in her passion as he watched her from her soft folds. Her stomach tightening under her skin. He used his strong hands to grip her ass from underneath, pulling her into his mouth.

Her hand taking a firm grip of his head pulling him even farther into her. Her hands. Her talented hands, she couldn't stop using them. He wouldn't stop her now, it wasn't the time for that.

The orgasm washed out of her and onto his face, her subtle little cry out as it did made him smile satisfactorily. He loved the way she squeaked at first during her orgasm.

Her breathing was now ragged, thanks to her orgasm. He left her sex and went up to her mouth and covered it with his. Her tongue instantly in his mouth as they played like their own persons. Dancing like those at the fair today.

Her hands still in his hair pulling him tighter to her. He used his hips to lift his hard cock to her wet sex. He could feel the heat radiating off of it through the head of his cock. He held at the entrance as his kiss enflamed her. Her eyes flickered open when he didn't penetrate right away.

"Please," she whispered in a soft beg. He smiled against her lips, she gasped as he let his cock slowly enter her. Inch by inch he slid into her fiery depths. Once his hips were fully against hers and he was deep within her she smiled.

"Thank you," she whispered with a breathy sigh. "I love you."

He slowly pulled out and left just the tip of his cock in her. Slowly he put it all back. He could feel her body explode in heat. It was almost like she was going to burn him with her skin!

His cock pushed in and out slowly as their tongues dueled. Her soft grunts of his depth pleased him. Her hands dug into his back slightly as she held onto him as he lifted his body off of hers, pressing up on the palms of his hands, leaving their only connection the one that was bringing them the ultimate pleasure. She stared into his eyes as he gently thrust into her.

"Oh my God," she gasped. They stared, hypnotized by one another as he thrust into her. "Yes!"

He watched her face redden slowly. A sign of her buildup, her body would tighten next, and it did. It was so magnificent to behold. Her orgasm. He loved watching her have one. Nothing was more beautiful than her orgasm.

When she came back to earth from her zenith she smiled at him. That made him melt. Her smile, it was so encouraging, comforting even. Her legs lifted as she wrapped them around him. She pulled herself up to kiss him and she held onto him there, half lifted off the bed. Her mouth on his ear. Her raspy breaths filling them.

He felt his own orgasm building, but he didn't want it yet. He wanted to make this last longer. He wanted to feel her longer. To see her orgasm more. He tried to pull out to keep it at bay but her legs locked him in. He looked at her as she shook her head slowly at him. She didn't want him to stop. She didn't want him to leave her.

"Keep going," she whispered. "Please?"

He did, she laid back and he lowered himself on her and kissed her lips as he hips thrust into her. Their eyes locked on one another. Her secret smile egging him on, making him flow over the edge of the waterfall and fill her with his hot cum as he stared into the blue of her eyes. They twinkled at him in satisfaction.

He lay on her and kissed her deeply as she readjusted her legs to keep him locked into place. A silent order that he wasn't to leave her. The switch in her coming to light, even for a moment, it made him smile.

He continued to kiss her as they both came down from their height. She finally unlocked her legs and he was able to move off of her, pulling in behind her she wrapped her arms around his as he held her from behind. Her hair with its sweet jasmine scent from her shampoo leading him softly to sleep. A lullaby that only she had been able to provide.

For the first time in as long as he could remember, he was content. Content with her in his arms.

She awoke the next morning. The sun on her face, his arms still around her. It was like they never moved. Wait...he was still here? Holy shit! She smiled as she pulled his arms tighter around her. His hands closer to her face so she could kiss them. He was still here! Not on a call! Not in the dining room. He was still here!

"You ok?" he asked her softly.

"Yes," she smiled as she kissed his hands again. "You're still here!"

"I can't imagine heaven being any better than right here, right now," he said as he kissed her head.

"The things you say!" she smiled as she inhaled his scent from wafting around her.

His phone rang. She closed her eyes and kissed his hands again as she pulled them tighter to her.

"One more second," she pleaded. "One more!"

"As you wish," he smiled into her hair.

She knew he would have to go. This was his job. As much as he didn't find the things he wanted in it, he would still have to do it as he could do nothing else but be who he was and that was dedicated.

"Get it," she sighed after the fifth ring. He instead pulled her tighter to his body and that made her gasp.

"One more second," he repeated to her, his lips softly brushing her neck.

The phone stopped ringing and she smiled. Hopefully it wasn't important and they would just leave a voice mail for him to call back later. The phone ringing again said otherwise. He frowned but reached for it and answered.

"Ok," he said softly. "I'm on my way."

He instead slid back against her and returned to his embrace.

"You have to go?" she asked him.

"Yes," he whispered. "For the first time in my life...I don't want to!" She smiled.

"I'm not going anywhere," she reminded.

"What do you want to do today?" he asked her taking her ear in his mouth.

"I want to just breathe you in," she said simply, her body shivering as he pleasured her with just a simple thing of his lips on her ear. "I want to just stay in bed and breathe you in."

secret   smiles   three   little   and   words  

Feb 13, 2018 in bdsm

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