Sex stories

Sex stories




Calm Ch. 02

Hi reader,

This part is very low on sex and very high on emotion as a consequence. There is one delightful scene in there for Tom and Ruth, so i hope you'll enjoy that as a welcome break from the other stuff that's going on.

You've gotten to know Ellie by now. Since you're reading this, you must've been interested enough to read more about her. Thank you for that. I can't express why very well, but it's very important to me that anybody in Ellie's situation gets all the help she needs. And all the patience she needs.

Enjoy your read and don't forget to vote and comment. Comments let me know what you think and votes make it so more people read my story, which is the whole point.

IMPORTANT MESSAGE: I'm looking for people who want to beta-read the whole thing (not looking for an editor). This means leaving some remarks and comments on each scene, so I can get input from outside my own head to point out anything that's unrealistic, confusing or dubious. Contact me via PM if you're interested.


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Chapter 2

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Ellie woke up and both her head and pelvis throbbed along with her heartbeat. She squeezed her eyes shut to deal with the pain and failed to suppress it. Her breathing sped up as it hit her just how much she was hurting.

A voice next to her startled her. "Elizabeth? I'm glad you woke up. I've been worried about you, it's already 5 PM. There are painkillers on the table next to you."

She grabbed the sheet of pills, still half blinded, and swallowed one. She was about to pop a second when Tom's hand closed over hers. "Only one, they're strong for somebody your size."

Ellie jerked her hands back and watched him, her eyes squinting because of the pain her sudden movement had caused her. Tom sat in a chair next to her bed with a book left open on his lap. "My name is Tom. I carried you up here last night. You were badly hurt. My fiance washed you along with a female doctor I called here. The doctor looked you over and took samples you can use later to file a report. She was also adamant about giving you a check-up to see if you caught any infections or STDs. The results will be in soon.

"I abbreviated your name to Ellie for the paperwork, instead of using Elizabeth. I hope that will be enough to reduce your fear of being discovered. Tomorrow, an officer will come to visit you and to take your testimony. This doesn't mean you'll be forced to file a report, I just wanted you to have everything needed in case you wanted to. You can go with the officer and he'll find a place for you to stay. Did you understand everything I said, Elizabeth?"

"Please, don't call me Elizabeth. Ellie, I like Ellie. Call me that, please."

"All right, Ellie. Did you understand?"

She nodded, careful to pace herself.

"Whether you decide to go with the officer or not, you're free to stay here until you're healed. If you need anything, I work from home most of the time so I'll be around to take care of it. Is there anything you need right now?"

"Do you have water?"

"There's water, some fruit and some treats in the little cupboard next to your bed. Anything else?"

"Do you have something for me to read?"

He lifted his eyebrow and said, "Are you sure you can read?"

"I don't know, but I need to do something now I'm awake."

"I'll bring you my spare laptop."

Tom stood up and made his way to the door. Ellie's voice stopped him and he turned around. "Yes?"

"Thank you."

The genuine smile that lit up his face startled her. "You're welcome, Ellie. I'm glad to help."

She stared at the door after he left. In such a short time she already knew he was nothing like her father, and that this small room could be her safe haven for the coming weeks. There would be no danger of anybody coming through the door and hurting her. Her relief combined with the numbing of the pain killer, and she drifted back to sleep, relaxed for the first time in a long time.

***

Ruth put down her cup of coffee and stared hard at Tom. "What are we going to do about Ellie? She's been here for a week now, and I don't think she's planning on leaving soon."

He looked back at her, a thoughtful look on his face. "I've been looking around for a shelter or some kind of family for her, but I'm not sure what to do. She needs to go back to school as well. I know she's a stranger, but I can't throw her back out just so she can repeat the same thing again."

"Do you even know what school she goes to?"

"She won't tell. She says she can't go back there because her father will wait for her there. I don't know, Ruth. Maybe we should contact the police again? I think she's hiding something terrible."

Ruth nodded and crossed her arms, frowning. "I think you're right, but it's not our responsibility to do something about it."

Tom shrugged and said, "We can put things in motion, that's not a huge effort."

"As far as we know she ran away from home after a fight with her father and had the misfortune of running into a rapist. What happened to her is terrible, but imagine what her parents must feel like. She's been gone for a week now. And still she won't call home, not even a quick phone call to tell them she's somewhere safe. Who knows, her parents might've gone to the police and given her up as a missing person. We could be committing a felony because we're hiding her. She's underage after all."

Tom ran his hand through his hair and looked Ruth in the eye. "What do we do then? When she gets better, she'll need professional help to deal with what happened to her. And if she fled home for a reason other than puberty, then she'll need help even more. How do we know she'll get that support if we send her out there to people she doesn't know?"

"It's not like we know her."

"True, but we've taken care of her. We've held our distance. She must have at least a modicum of trust in us."

"Where are you going with this, Tom?"

Tom threw up his hands. "I don't want her to go anywhere unless I'm certain it's a good place. Something feels off. The way she begged us not to take her to the hospital doesn't sit right with me. She wouldn't have done that if she was running from a fight with her parents. If anything, her problems at home should've been nothing compared to being raped.

"I don't care who you are, but if something like that happens to you, I think you'd want your family to be there for you. But she begged us to keep her father from finding out where she was. I don't know... I have a bad feeling about the whole thing."

Ruth paced back and forth, her arms still crossed. "This is not a kitten we're talking about. This is a young, very beautiful woman who possibly has very serious issues. We can't take responsibility for her. Once she gets better, we'll find a place for her, that much I agree with."

"Please don't make me leave."

Both of them turned to see Ellie standing in the doorway. Her legs trembled with the effort it took her to stay upright. Tom quickly pulled out a chair for her. She sat down and caught her breath while Tom and Ruth shared a concerned look.

Tom crouched in front of Ellie, looking up into her tired eyes. He could see red rims around them, she'd been crying. "Ellie, you need to understand we're concerned about you, but we don't think we can take care of you. We want to help you find a place to stay. Maybe if you called your family they could take care of you. I'm sure your mother and father are very worried about you."

"No! I won't go to school, and I'm not calling him."

"All right, what about your mother?"

"My mother's dead."

"Oh. I'm sorry, I didn't know."

"My brother died as well."

Tom looked up at Ruth, trying to find any help there, but all she could offer him was a sad look.

"If I go back he'll kill me too."

"What? Who would kill you?"

"My father."

An alarmed look came to Tom's face. "Did he threaten you?"

Ellie shook her head. The pain her memories caused her evident on her face. "He goes out and does things, filthy things. My mom knew, but she couldn't stop him so she started drinking. Then my brother came, and she didn't want him. She fell down the stairs, drunk. She had a bleed while she was in labor and died. My father hated my brother for killing her, but it wasn't Jef's fault. It was father's fault for making mom drink. He was mean to Jef. The poor boy would always run away somewhere so he could hide."

A sob broke off her story and Tom wrapped one arm around her so she could have something to hold on to. After a while she continued, but her voice was shaky and quiet. "Last month he ran away and..."

Her nails dug into Tom's arm. "He... He was hit by a bus and he died. He was hurt really bad, and they said he suddenly swerved his bike. It had to be because he was hurt. And now I'm the only one left who Father can kill. As if he hasn't done enough to me already."

Silence descended on the room, interrupted only by Ellie's soft sniveling. Tom and Ruth's eyes met, their expression calm and serious. They both felt there was more to the story. More things they didn't want to hear. But they'd listen. "What about a foster family, Ellie? They can protect you."

"He'd find me and take me away. Please, don't send me away. Nobody knows I'm here and it has to be that way."

Tom closed his eyes, her body trembling against his. "And what about your other family members?"

"They don't like us. I never see them. They don't even send Christmas cards. They probably know about father, but they never helped me or my brother."

Tom sighed and stood up. He held out his hand to Ellie and said, "Ellie, I'll take you to your room now. Ruth and I have to talk about this. It's not something small you're asking of us. We hardly know you."

Ellie went back to her room with her head down and her shoulders slumped. Her back told them she was already preparing for the worst. Tom looked over at Ruth and saw the strain he felt reflected on her face. "Do you want to go out for a walk?"

"Yes, I'd like that a lot."

They went for a long walk, talking very little. The problem they faced was obvious to them, even though they had no idea of its exact magnitude. But there were other things to take into account. They felt for the girl. As caring people, they felt a need to nurse her back to good health. It was a difficult decision to make, but one they'd commit themselves to. If Ellie agreed to certain conditions, then they'd take care of her for a few months.

When Tom and Ruth got back, they found Ellie asleep. The poor girl must've been exhausted. They tucked her in and had a quiet night together, both afraid and determined for what was to come.

***

The next morning, Ellie didn't dare move in her bed as she waited for Tom to speak. Her eyes shifted from Tom to the wall and back. Her heart was thumping. This was it. She'd know if she'd be safe or not.

"Ellie, Ruth and I have talked about what you're asking for and we've decided to help you."

He held out his hand to make it clear he wasn't done yet. Ellie sat there for a second with her mouth half open before she settled back down, apprehensive of what was to come. "However, there are certain conditions. These conditions are not up for discussion. If we're doing this, then we're doing this in the best way we can. First off, we'll find you some professional help. You'll try your hardest to let this person help you. You can always talk to us, but you don't have to.

"Secondly, you said you don't want to go back to school. We'll allow that, but you'll have to take your exams outside of school. We can arrange that.

"Thirdly, we like our privacy as a couple. So please don't go into our bedroom or into the room behind the storeroom unless we tell you it's okay. Apart from that, just use your common sense. Contact us immediately whenever something happens. Really, contact us and we'll get to you as soon as we can. And if you need something, anything at all, just ask."

This time Ellie remained quiet, not sure of what to say.

"You'll be living here for a few months, until you graduate high school. Please don't expect us to act like doting parents. We'll be available and we'll care for you, but we have our own lives to live. What do you say, Ellie?"

"Yes."

Such a short answer. Tom had trouble reading Ellie's expression. She might be happy or sad, it was hard to tell. He felt like she needed time to arrange her thoughts, so he stepped outside of her room and into Ruth's arms. Ruth looked up at him and said, "Are we sure about this, Tom?"

"If we didn't do it, we'd regret it. Even more so if something happened to her again. We'd wonder about her all the time."

She grabbed his hand and squeezed it. "I think you're right."

"Let's hope it works out for her."

***

Ruth folded her arms against her chest as she stood next to Tom, watching the book Ellie had left behind on the couch while she went to the restroom. "Has she said anything today, Tom?"

Tom shook his head, "No, she reads a lot and kind of follows me around. I think she feels more at ease when she's in the same room as me."

"She won't talk to me unless I talk to her first."

He put his hand on her shoulder. "I know, Ruth. Let her. She's still getting used to things here. This is probably the first time in a long time she's been able to relax."

"I guess, I just get the feeling she doesn't like me very much."

Tom smiled and pulled her close to him. "Don't worry about that. Give it time and she won't be able to resist liking you."

Ruth nuzzled his shoulder and shuffled a little closer to him.

Ellie came back from the restroom, and her eyes scanned around until she found Tom. She lingered longer than she normally did, taking in the way Ruth was sheltered against his body. When her father hugged her, she'd always been stiff as a board, not able to relax in the slightest. A mixture of wonder and envy stabbed at her chest every time she saw how naturally Ruth received the care she needed.

She settled down and opened her book, staring at the words but not reading. Her thoughts slowly churned and then faded away as she started taking in the words on the page again, losing herself in the fantastical world on the pages. The residual pain in her pelvis was pushed back and ignored. She stopped reminiscing, her awareness limited to the present.

Ever since Ellie had started walking again, things had gone like this. Before, Tom would visit her in her room at least once a day and ask if she wanted to talk. If she didn't, which was mostly the case, he'd simply open a book and read in comfortable silence. Ellie didn't know how he figured out she didn't want to be alone even if she didn't want to talk, but she was grateful. Later on she came to rely on his calm, steady presence.

She caught herself casting quick glances to survey the room, noting where Tom was and what he was doing, thinking about what he might do next. A thought struck Ellie and her book fell from her hands when she realized she was doing exactly the same thing as she'd done back home. She'd always been desperate to know what her father would do. If she knew, she might be able to avoid some of the consequences.

Her hands started shaking, and she jumped up and rushed to her room so she could hide. She'd never thought about it before. It was just something she did. What was she looking for when she checked up on Tom? Ellie curled up in a ball, cursing herself over and over for unconsciously thinking Tom would hurt her. She hated herself, hated what she was. What her father had made her into.

Back in the living room Tom picked up Ellie's book and closed it. He looked at Ruth and shared a look of pity and confusion with her. "What do you think she was thinking?"

"I honestly have no idea."

"That makes two of us. You think we should cancel dinner tonight? It might be best for us to stay here for her."

"Yeah."

"I'll call the restaurant."

***

Tom picked through the mail and held up a large brown envelope. "Ellie, the results of your tests came back."

"What tests?"

Tom frowned and handed her the envelope. He'd expected her to be more anxious to learn the results of her STD tests. "It says on the envelope."

Ellie opened the letter and her expression clouded. She stared in front of her and seemed to drift off. Tom hurried over to her and gently shook her shoulder. "Ellie? Ellie!"

Her eyes regained their focus, and she looked at Tom, confusion apparent in her face. "It says I have gonorrhea in my vagina, Tom. How can I have gonorrhea there? I've never had sex like that before."

Tom felt out of his depth. What was he supposed to say? "Ellie, come sit here next to me."

She shuffled closer to him and sat down, the papers held tightly in her fist.

"What do you remember of the night Ruth and I found you?"

"I remember being on the floor, hurting a lot. I think I must've tripped and fallen on my stomach, I don't really know."

Tom closed his eyes and took a deep breath, steeling himself for what he had to say. "You didn't fall, Ellie. A man assaulted you. He raped you and gave you gonorrhea."

"No."

"Don't you remember telling the officer who came by about a man hurting you?"

"No!"

She sprang up from her seat, every move she made somehow exaggerated, violent. "I'm still a virgin, Tom! It's all I have left! Don't take this away from me, please. I'm a virgin. Please."

Tom shook his head. "I'm sorry, Ellie. I won't lie to you."

Ellie stopped her pacing and stared down at the papers in her hand. Her eyes reaffirmed what she could no longer deny as the truth. Her voice was quiet and broken when she spoke again. "No. I don't want it. I don't want to be sick. It's not true, it can't be! Father took my mouth and my ass, but he always said a woman should keep her virginity as a gift for the one she cared about. Like mom did."

Tom couldn't quite gauge Ellie's emotions when she looked at him again. Hurt, emptiness and building anger flickered across her young face. Slowly, more and more of the paper got crumpled into Ellie's little fist. Her body got tenser as the paper compressed into an ever tinier ball. Tears started rolling down her cheeks. Suddenly, Ellie jumped up and shrieked. Her body doubled over as she squeezed out every ounce of rage inside of her and screamed her agony out into the world.

Tears blinded Ellie as she alternated between screaming her anger and pleading for everything to be a lie. But she couldn't deny the truth. Her memory of that night rose from the fog clouding it. Every minute, every second she recalled fueled her anger even more. Tom sent her to the playroom, and he left her there after leaving her some things she could break or punch.

Ellie threw her whole being into fighting her memory. At first she wanted to deny it. She failed. The rage at her own lack of power didn't allow it. She'd ran away to be safe, and the first thing that happened was just as brutal as what she escaped.

The moment Ellie thought back on her father and on why she eventually ran away, she exploded. The weight of years of memories flowed out from her body and into everything she could hit in her environment. She shrieked her throat raw at the thought of Jef's funeral. She screamed 'murderer' over and over.

Ellie raged until she couldn't go on any longer. She was nowhere near finished, but for now she'd exhausted herself, and she fell back into misery when her fury could no longer sustain her. She lay sobbing on the floor when Tom's strong arms picked her up and carried her out of the room. He took her with him to the couch and cradled her in his lap. Ellie clasped her hands tightly in his shirt. If her voice hadn't been shot, she'd have bawled like a little child. Her body yearned for his warm embrace, and her tears wet his shirt through and through.
Tom soothed Ellie until she calmed down. "Before you go back to your room, I want to tell you that if you get bored with throwing things at walls, you can ask Ruth or me to teach you some self-defense. It's good exercise if you need to vent."

A watery smile appeared on Ellie's tear streaked face. "Thank you."

"You're welcome. Would you like to go to bed now?"

"Yes."

"Would you like me to tuck you in?"

Suddenly, she felt like a shy little girl, and she buried her face back into his shirt before nodding.

"I'd be happy to."

***

Ellie hadn't been dealing well with regaining her full memory of what happened the night Tom and Ruth found her. She had no way of dealing with the emotions those test results unleashed. Furious at her father and blazing with anger, all she wanted was to smash stuff and to scream. Stomp her memories over and over until she felt like she could handle them.

But her confidence crumpled the moment she stopped raging. She fell into a deep, black hole every single time. She tried everything she could think of to escape her grief, but she couldn't. Her tears blurred her eyes when she tried to read. Food nearly made her throw up when she forced it down her throat. She spent hours hugging herself in her bed. With every passing day she looked worse. The intensity of her emotions was so unfamiliar to her, so consuming, that she felt like they hollowed her out from within.

Ellie refused to go into the bathroom. The sight of her own body in the mirror became more than she could bear. She cursed her own beauty. Cursed the fact she looked even remotely like her beauty queen mother and hated that she couldn't find a single blemish on her skin. She messed up her hair, but it made no difference.

Every day, Ellie stood in front of the mirror with Tom's single bladed razor in her hand. She'd press the edge against her cheek, the urge to slash her cheek warring with how much she hated admitting her father had broken her. Slashing her cheek would prove it. No. She would not be defeated by her own looks.

Time after time, Ellie threw the razor down into the washbasin, her hands clawing at the cold porcelain. Each time, she put everything back in place, afraid someone would find out. And then she'd go to Tom's study and grab a book with a title she could hardly understand, and she'd bury herself in its contents. Knowledge. That was how she wanted to prove herself. Not looks. Her brain felt feverish as she devoured page after page of things she didn't understand.

But she kept going, she read and reread pages until she felt she got it even a little bit. She lost sleep, and the light shining under her door at night didn't go unnoticed.

For a few weeks Ellie felt like a piece of driftwood tossed around by the chaos swirling inside of her. When a few days had passed during which she seemed more subdued, Tom approached her. "Ellie, come sit with me."

His tone was friendly, but still it brooked no argument. She sat down in front of him and looked him in the eye.

"I have a few things for you. The first is a book about dealing with what I think you've been through. I've been over several since you arrived here, and I think this one was written with a lot of background experience and care. I also have a journal for you. Use it whenever you feel like writing something down."

He slid a heavy, leather bound journal over towards her. "It's sturdy, so you can throw it if you'd like. Read the book. I'm sure it can be useful for you."

Ellie picked up the journal and put it down again. She'd never kept one before, and she doubted she would do so now.

"Lastly and most importantly, here are your appointments with a specialized therapist and a few group meetings. You can go to each meeting and get a feel of the group, see if one or more suit you."

She looked down at the papers he slid to her, making no move to take them. "What if I don't want to go?"

"Then I drive you to the place anyway, and we'll sit there for the time the session would normally take. You'd be wasting both our time. So please co-operate."

"And if I don't stay put in the car?"

"Then I walk with you."

"What if I run away?"

"I'm confident I can outrun you any day of the week."

"What if I start screaming?"

Tom looked at her with a sad expression. "Does the thought of telling anybody about what's tearing you up inside make you so frightened?"

Ellie's challenge to him dissolved immediately when she realized he'd seen through her. She nodded. Tom took one of her hands in both of his and gently squeezed. "I think it'll be difficult for you. At the same time I think you'll be relieved afterwards. That therapist knows so much about what you can do to help yourself. Use that. You're being offered a start of a way out. Grab it."

Her voice was quiet when she answered. "I'll go, but can you stay in the car anyway?"

Tom nodded and smiled. "I can, at least the first few times. I'll bring a book."

It relieved him to see her answer his smile with a little grin, brief as it was.

***

The dojo was empty but for Tom, Ellie, Ruth and her Aikido instructor, Charlotte. Tom knew Charlotte was a great teacher, and she'd be another strong woman for Ellie to learn from. The skills she taught were valuable for a girl like Ellie. After they'd warmed up, Tom said to Ellie, "I do Krav maga. It's about awareness and quick elimination. In a way, it's a test for aikido. Aikido is flows and adapts to find a position to incapacitate the opponent. It sounds passive, but someone skilled will move in, floor and detain an unsuspecting opponent before he realizes what hit him."

He saw the confusion in Ellie's eyes and sighed. He pointed at Ruth and Charlotte. "Ruth does aikido, and Charlotte is her teacher. I'd say Ruth is pretty skilled by now, but she's no match for me yet. She just doesn't have the experience. Charlotte on the other hand... I've sparred with her before and she's slippery.

"I could knock her out with a well-aimed punch, but it has to connect first. My goal is to efficiently overwhelm an enemy. The worst opponent for me is someone who can dance around all that bluster. Someone like Charlotte. She's taught me a lot."

Tom cast another glance at Ellie, and she was still standing there, her arms crossed with a frown nestled on her forehead. He looked Charlotte in the eye and said, "Could you pick up a large pad, please?"

Charlotte nodded and picked up a thick block of padding. She took a relaxed stance and prepared for the attack. Tom blazed forward and his first punch boomed against the pad. At the same time the punch hit, he used the elbow of his other arm to slam against the pad with his full weight. Charlotte grunted at the heavy impact and then toppled when Tom used her moment of imbalance to floor her with a second punch.

He helped her up and asked, "Your turn now?"

Charlotte grinned and rolled her neck, jumping up and down a few times to limber up. They took the same positions as before, without the pad this time. The second run was hard to follow. Tom threw his punch, Charlotte moved and grabbed Tom and before Ellie even saw what happened Charlotte had floored Tom and locked his arm in place. He tapped the floor and she released him.

"Do you see now? She's not that much bigger than you and she can do that to me. When I join them for training I usually spend my time being thrown around and locked in all kinds of positions."

He winked at Ruth and she blushed, trying not to let Charlotte notice.

"What do you say, Ellie. Are you interested?"

Ellie was intrigued to say the least. She was so angry all the time, and she wanted something that would help her work it out of her system for good. She was tired of crying herself to sleep. Anything to just blackout in exhaustion. She hated her memories. "Yes. Can I do this every day?"

Tom's eyebrow lifted, and he looked at Charlotte. Charlotte shrugged and said, "I'll check my schedule. I don't do Sundays though. Plus if she wants it that intense, she'll have to follow my instructions to the letter or she'll only hurt herself."

"You heard her, Ellie."

Ellie gave Charlotte a look and nodded. "I'll do what she tells me to."

Tom watched Charlotte walk out the door and hoped that she could be around Ellie as much as possible. She was such a strong, admirable woman. Ellie needed examples in her life, an idea of what she could become through hard work.

"Ruth, will you show her how to warm up? I'll go do my exercises in the back. Shout if you need me."

"Okay, Tom."

Charlotte paused in the door to watch the two young woman spar together. One was slender, the copper strands in her hair gleaming in the light. The other was a vision of female beauty, but Charlotte couldn't sense any of the poise and calm that Ruth possessed in the younger girl. Ellie felt raw to her, full of conflict. She'd be a challenging pupil. Charlotte hadn't asked Tom to reveal the girl's secrets, but she had a pretty good idea where she was coming from. It wasn't the first time she'd seen it.

She stepped back onto the mat and clapped her hands to draw attention. "Ellie, from now on you'll come here five days a week. Training will not be too intensive, given the frequency and how inexperienced you are. I'll give you guidelines on how to treat yourself at home. Ask Ruth to clarify anything you don't understand. From now on you call me sensei, do you understand?"

"Yes, sensei."

"Good, now let's get started. Tom, we won't be needing you today, but could you wait around to pick up the paperwork?"

He nodded his head and continued what he was doing. The next hours were incredible for Ellie. She'd never even realized what her own body was capable of. She cursed herself for giving in to her father so many times, for letting everything happen when she didn't have to. As the session went on, Ellie became more angry and violent and Charlotte had to calm her down more than once. Eventually, Charlotte scolded her and had her sit down on the floor to impress the philosophy of aikido onto her.

Regaining her self-control would be a struggle for Ellie, but she'd learn.

***

Tom sat working at his desk. Ellie was reading in the armchair in his study as usual when she closed her book with a soft thump and said, "Tom, do you think I'm pretty?"

He turned away from his laptop, surprise evident on his face. "Of course I do. Why do you ask?"

"You never look at me the way a man looks at a woman."

Tom leaned back in his desk chair and saw her trembling. She was on the verge of bursting into tears. He gestured for her to stand up from his armchair so he could take her place and give her a lap to sit on. "Have a seat, Ellie."

She quickly sat back down and huddled up. He stroked her long, pale hair and said, "Ellie, I think you're exceptionally beautiful. You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. There's nothing about you I would change. But think about why I try not to look at you that way. You know how we found you."

Ellie burst into tears and in a strangled voice, she said "You think I'm dirty, that I'm disgusting!"

She tried to push away from Tom and escape the room, but he locked her in with his arms.

"Ellie, calm down. You misunderstood. You were hurt. Things were taken from you that you didn't want to give. What would've happened if I showed interest in you as a woman? Could I take care of you then? No. You'd only become confused and hurt. Wondering if I was going to do the same thing. I couldn't risk doing that to you."

Tom squeezed Ellie more firmly against him. "I don't want you to ever be abused again. So I don't show you I find you attractive. I don't mention it. I do so because I care about you and never because I think you're dirty in any way. Your past isn't a layer of dirt stuck to your skin. All I wanted was to make things a little easier for you."

Ellie cried into his shirt without holding back, her body wracked with sobs. Fat tears fell from her flawless face as it twisted in a horrible grief that was too old and deep. Everything pouring out of her stemmed from the things still locked up inside of her.

Her entire being had been forged by years of abuse and neglect. It had dried her out emotionally, so Tom's kindness touched her in ways she couldn't understand. It set flame to the restraints holding back the beast of her grief. Maybe one day she'd conquer it and bury it alongside her childhood fears, but today was not that day. Today it reigned supreme until her body exhausted itself.

***

Ruth stood in the center of the play room naked but for seven inch stiletto heels. Too high to walk in, but they made her legs look incredible. Tom took his time admiring her form before he told her what he'd planned for her. "Stand in the center of the room and put your hands in the back of your neck. Keep your legs spread and your chin up."

Ruth assumed the position he asked of her and felt her body respond to it. Having to keep her arms up toned the rest of her body, and she smiled when Tom nodded in appreciation. He took a heavy book and laid it down on top of her head. "Don't let it fall under any circumstance. In fact, I don't want you to move at all. Stay perfectly still, no matter what I do to you."

Unsure of whether she should answer him or not, Ruth played it safe. "Yes, Sir."

Tom flicked her nipple, and she gave a little jerk, making the book wobble. "Talking counts as moving. Don't say anything. Don't make a noise."

Ruth inwardly nodded her understanding, closing her eyes to enjoy the little ripple of pleasure spreading from her nipple. She opened her eyes again and wanted to see where Tom was, but he'd left her field of vision. Where was he? What was he planning?

Her skin turned to goose bumps when she felt over a dozen soft caresses glide over her back. What was that? The touch disappeared. Ruth waited for Tom to walk around her but he kept her waiting. Again the unfamiliar touch grazed her, and she loved the way it felt. He walked around her, dragging the soft flogger along her side and then up her stomach so he could brush it along her breasts.

She'd expected a flogger to be more menacing, but this one seemed harmless. The long, beige handle covered in the same leather as the tails lay comfortably in Tom's hand. "I've never flogged you before, so I don't think you know what to expect. The flogger I have in my hand is made from deerskin. You can feel how soft it is, can't you?"

Tom let the tails slap gently against her inner thigh before dragging it back up. The sting was nothing compared to that of a crop. A sensual feeling, waking up her skin. She could feel the tingling spread from her thigh to her pussy, making her wet.

"This flogger is soft enough to flog you anywhere I want to."

The tails landed on her breasts and Ruth had to fight to keep back a gasp at the sensation. Her nipple felt like it would pop, overloaded by the sparks of pleasure coming from all over her sensitive breast.

Tom rubbed one of Ruth's hard nipples with his thumb, and she had to squeeze her lips together to keep quiet. "It's also light and doesn't bruise."

He leaned in closer to her ear and whispered, "I can use this for hours, little one, and I wouldn't even break a sweat, but I'm sure you'll find it a little problematic to keep that book on your head after a while. Do you want me to tell you what happens when you drop it? Blink twice to say yes."

She blinked twice, and he stepped around her, flicking his wrist so the tips of the flogger danced over her skin. She fought the desire to bite her lip, every tiny touch stung just enough to tantalize.

"This is an exquisite piece of work. The handle is smooth, and I'd have little trouble pushing it into your tight little pussy."

He pushed the flogger up between her legs, brushing her wet pussy. "But then there'd be a problem. I'd have no more tool to strike my lovely little girl. No choice but to use my hand."

Ruth shivered when his hand kneaded her ass cheek in time with the handle rubbing against her pussy. "My hand does hit harder than this flogger so you'd need a little extra support to keep from falling over in those shoes. It's a good thing that right above your head there's this little hole meant for an eye bolt. It's perfect for tying up a little girl that didn't do what she was supposed to do."

Tom pulled back and walked around to her front. "Blink twice if you understand."

She blinked twice, holding back a moan at the thought of what she was agreeing to. Any fantasies she might've had about her predicament evaporated quickly though when Tom started using the flogger to methodically wake up every single part of her skin. He ignored her breasts and her pussy for now, but even then her pussy was leaking with excitement. She felt the heat of her own excitement in her flushed chest and her hot pussy.

It was getting harder for her to think clearly. One soft hit to the hollow of her knee surprised Ruth, and her leg jerked. She froze as the book wobbled and relaxed again when it settled back down. But her moment of rest didn't last long. Tom chose that moment to hit her pussy for the first time. A strangled moan escaped her throat. Her breathing was fast and it amazed her how intense the hit had felt. It didn't hurt, instead it set her pussy on fire.

"That was a noise, little girl. First you move and then you make a noise." Tom shook his head in disappointment and said, "Let's try again."

He landed another hit on her pussy, followed closely by hits alternating between her inner thighs nowhere near her pussy. Ruth stood with her eyes closed, letting everything wash over her. Her lips were pushed tightly together to keep any little noise from escaping, but she couldn't help but hear her own breathing as she sucked in air through her nose. A little more of this and she'd need more air.

Her body was in turmoil, struggling against the urge to move, against the overwhelming desire to beg for more, more, more. Tom took a step back and focused on her breasts, slapping each one in turn. They started to glow a soft pink. Ruth gave up on holding back her noises, panting as she was. Little moans and yelps escaped her as she grew hotter and hotter. When the tails of the flogger brushed past her pussy again she could hold her orgasm back with only the greatest effort.

"You can't get what you can't ask for, little girl. You're not allowed to come from this." Contrary to his words, Tom did his best to get her off. Ruth was getting desperate, and it took everything she had just to keep still. If she came she'd not only disobey, but also almost certainly drop the book. She was trembling and almost didn't notice when the flogger stopped lashing her. When she opened her eyes to try and find Tom, she couldn't see him. Looking straight ahead was all she could do without dropping the book. She didn't know where Tom was until she felt him blow on her soaked pussy. A load moan escaped her and her pussy clenched in desire.

Ruth wanted to beg Tom to not touch her and definitely not lick her. It would be too much. Tom seemed to read her thoughts and then did the opposite of what she wanted. He slipped two fingers inside of her pussy and locked his lips over her clit. Ruth held her breath, waiting for the moment her resistance would be broken. But it didn't come.

Tom pulled back from her clit and said, "Little girl, you've passed the test. You can come now. If you can keep the book in place through your orgasm, I'll give you a reward."

With that said, he attacked her clit and mercilessly flicked it with his tongue while his fingers teased her sensitive insides. It exhilarated Ruth that she'd done well, and she let the pleasure burst through her. Her body shook and wobbled, and the book fell on the floor. Ruth didn't care. She screamed her heart out, tangling her hands in Tom's hair to keep herself steady as she humped his face and rode the waves of ecstasy.
Tom stood up when Ruth had calmed down and pulled her in for a kiss. He glanced down at the book on the floor. "Maybe next time."

Ruth's pussy clenched at the thought of another round of this, and she yelped when Tom slung her naked body over shoulder. He checked if the hallway was empty and then carried her over to the bedroom. She wouldn't be getting any rest just yet.

***

Ellie peeked at Tom from behind her book. She was reading in the armchair in his study. "Tom, you and Ruth had sex last night."

"I'm well aware of that, yes. We're a couple after all."

She regretted blurting out what was on her mind already, but the damage was done and she kept going. "You do it a lot."

Tom's eyes narrowed a little, and he said, "I guess, it's a big part of our relationship together. We love to give each other pleasure."

"Could you show me what it feels like?"

Ellie's voice trembled as she asked the question. She had no clue where she wanted to go with this. All she knew was that Ruth seemed so happy every morning and even more so when she knew they'd had sex. Ellie didn't understand how that was possible.

Tom looked stunned and said, "What? No."

"What do you mean, no?"

"Ellie, I didn't take you in so I could have sex with you. That was never my intention."

"You have to."

The words felt true to her now she'd asked him. She was desperate to know what it could be like, and he had to take care of it for her. Tom didn't seem to share her conviction, and he frowned. "And why is that?"

"I need to know that there's more. More than father did to me. I need to know I'm not broken. I need to know somebody wants to be with me. That I'm not filthy trash. I need to feel like somebody likes me."

Tom leaned forward in his chair, his attention focused on Ellie. "Do you not feel liked here? Ruth and me took you into our house to care for you, isn't that enough proof?"

"No, I, it's just that I don't..."

Tom held out his hand, putting a stop to her confused muttering. He got up and rested his hands on her shoulders, looking down at her. "There's a lot of ways to show you care about somebody, Ellie. It's true that part of how I show my love for Ruth is sexual, but it runs deeper than that. Ruth loves the sex we have, but to her the most important thing about it is knowing she pleases me when she tries her best. I encourage her and reward her so she knows I appreciate her. If it was just about getting off, we wouldn't put in so much work."

He pet her hair and the look on his face changed into something softer. "There is more, Ellie. So much more. You survived your past and still came out whole enough to have some hope, some interest in the future. You have time to find out about what you don't understand right now."

Tom paused and closed his eyes, breathing deeply as thoughts and doubts clouded his mind. He opened his eyes again and had to face the pain evident on Ellie's innocent face. "I think you're asking me because you want to feel close to someone, but I won't do it. What if you saw me like you do your father? I wouldn't be able to live with myself. I'm sorry, but I can't do what you want me to. But we can do something else. Maybe cuddle up while we watch a movie? Go for a walk? I'm going for a run in half an hour or so, you want to come with me? Maybe have a hot tea when we get back?"

"I'm okay."

"Are you sure, Ellie?"

Ellie nodded, her arms wrapped around her. Tom pressed a kiss on her forehead, and Ellie walked away, wanting to be alone to unravel the twists in her mind.

***

Ellie sat in her room, staring at a picture Tom had blown up for her. It showed a massive lead grey cloud tinged with dark green. A promise of blinding lightning. Violent thunder would follow it and drown out any other sound, making it impossible to ignore the ongoing clash in the sky.

Tom hadn't said a word about why he gave her the picture, but Ellie had an inkling. She caught herself staring at it when she was thinking about her father. During those dark moments, unanswered questions and useless frustrations balled up into a boiling cloud of anger. The picture acted as a catalyst, drawing her out of her apathy and forcing her to face her anger.

She'd find herself sweating in the exercise room behind the pantry, kicking and punching over and over until she was drenched and longing for a hot shower to sweep over her bone tired body.

It was just a small thing he'd done for her and yet she wondered if he realized what he'd made possible. Now, staring at the picture, she didn't think of her father. She didn't feel angry or frustrated. Her eyes wandered over the patterns hidden in the clouds, trying to follow them but losing track time after time.

The things Tom had said worried her, was it true she confused love and care with sex? She'd never felt loved by her father. He was always preoccupied with his obsessions so she'd hide from him and cling to her little brother. The only times he got close to her were when he wanted to touch her.

Her eyes unfocused as realization hit her like a truck. Tom was right, she wanted him to touch her. She wanted to feel close. She felt humiliated and dirty. What did it mean? Did she want her father to come to her? Was that why she never said anything, why she just kept enduring what he did to her even when she knew it was wrong? Why she never realized she could say no, because deep down she didn't want to?

Ellie was angry with herself, with the small girl who'd been so stupid and powerless. All she ever wanted was just a normal father, someone to love her. And she'd forever be stuck with being horrified by something that could've been so beautiful for her. A primal scream tore from her chest, shredding the silence that had settled down in her room.

No! This would never do. She punched the wall with her bare fist and howled at the pain as she stormed from her room, ripping open the doors leading her to the exercise room.

Tom picked Ellie up from the floor when she'd fallen down in exhaustion. He carried her to the bathroom and carefully undressed her before sliding her into a hot bath. He took her blood splattered clothes with him and left behind a set of bandages and some disinfectant salve.

The first sobs tore from Ellie's throat as the door clicked shut behind him, and she was still sobbing when the water had long since gone cold.

***

Ellie looked vulnerable when she entered Tom's study. She curled up in his armchair and said, "Tom, I want to tell you about myself."

Tom stopped what he was doing and got up. "Wait just a minute. I'll make tea and get some cookies. Maybe you'll want them later. I'll be right back."

When Tom got back, he put a platter on the low table next to his armchair and made to go get his desk chair, but Ellie stopped him. "I want to sit on your lap, Tom."

Tom nodded and she got up so he could sit down. If she wanted this, he wouldn't deny her. After she sat down, it took Ellie long and difficult moments before she could suppress the urge to run and hide and to instead muster the courage to start talking. When she finally did, her words were clear and steady.

"Mom died when I was seven, so I don't remember her very well. She wasn't home much so father took care of me. Sometimes I wouldn't see mom for days, because she'd be out drinking or she'd sleep past the time I left for school. I know now that father was why mom drank, but I didn't figure it out until years after she died. Back then he never did anything to me, and I thought he was the nicest daddy ever."

The tightness of her grip on his shirt told Tom how much she still struggled with those memories.

"When I was six years old, mom got pregnant again. She wanted an abortion. Father didn't. They fought about it for days, mom screaming it was all his fault and throwing things at him, while he kept refusing. Mom relented, but she was horrible to father. He never complained, just took care of her. Sometimes he'd take me in his arms and whisper that once the baby was born, mommy would be nicer and more like a real mommy.

"I don't remember much from around Jef's birth, but I do remember father standing over his crib, crying. Mom had died in labor. She was gone. Father raised Jef on his own, but he didn't love my brother. Didn't hug him after he changed him. Didn't pick him up when he was crying. Nothing. So I started sneaking in after father to pick up Jef and to hug him."

Talking about how she used to hold Jef hurt Ellie, and she looked for solace in Tom's arms, in the soothing warmth of his body. Closeness had been so rare for her that it meant a lot for her to just be able to sit and be embraced. It gave her the strength to go on.

"Over time, things got worse. Jef was a quiet boy at home, always trying to avoid father. Every little mistake he made was badly punished, until he didn't even have to do anything wrong anymore. I tried to soothe Jef after he was beaten, but father wouldn't have it. He'd only beat Jef more if he found his dear daughter spending time with his cursed son.

"Mom was his obsession, and he made me do every hobby she'd ever taken up to run away from him, driving me everywhere I needed to be. I never asked for it, but I knew that if I refused he'd somehow make it Jef's fault. Father never drove Jef anywhere, the poor boy even had to ride his bike to school when he was only six. People asked about it at school, but father told them he wanted his boy to grow up strong and independent."

Anger permeated Ellie's calm as she thought about how Jef had crawled in bed with her after her father had sent him out on his bike for the first time, scared to go out in traffic by himself. She hated her father.

"Father had a way with people, always keeping up the appearance of a happy family. He'd done it with mom still alive, and he just kept on doing it. He started... touching me when I was thirteen. Puberty came early for me and I changed quickly. Father watched me more than he had before, and he kept saying how I reminded him of mom. I was going to a different school from Jef then. Jef still went to school by bike, while I rode along with my father. We left a lot later as well.

"The first time it happened was a Wednesday morning. Father asked me if I could do something for him. He opened his zipper and pushed himself against my lips. I didn't understand, but he kept pushing until I opened my mouth. He shot his stuff in my mouth and had me swallow it before he dropped me off at school. I threw up in the school toilets that day, so they called father. He picked me up and brought me home, saying my favor to him was our little secret and that nobody needed to know. Not even your brother he said. Jef never knew, and I'm glad he never did."

Ellie let go of Tom and leaned against him, back to front. She stilled as tears rolled down her cheeks, one followed by another and then another.

"I tried to do all I could for Jef. I'd make him crepes when we were home alone. It was his favorite. Always with brown sugar and nothing else. I loved the way he smiled when he ate them. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have made it through what my father did next.

"One day, father came up to my room, something he usually didn't do. He asked me for another favor, and I said no but he didn't listen. He pulled down my pajama trousers and my panties and pushed his thing into my ass. I was screaming so he shoved a pillow in my face and said 'You don't want Jef to know, do you?' It hurt so much. I cried and screamed into the pillow, hoping it would be over soon. When father finally stopped, he left me like I was when he finished.

"I passed out and when I woke up I was in so much pain I could barely move. There was blood caked to my legs, and I waited until I could stand again before cleaning up my room, afraid Jef would see anything. I cried in the shower for a long time. It hurt so bad. It was all I could think about.

"The next time father came up to my room I tried to hide under my bed, but he dragged me from under it and threw me on the bed. I begged him not to do it, told him it hurt too much. I even told him I'd use my mouth on him really good. Just not that. He left that night, and I cried myself to sleep because I felt relieved and dirty at the same time."

With every sentence, Ellie seemed to become smaller and weaker as she got closer to bearing the scared little girl at the center of her pain. Her voice went very quiet. Tom had trouble understanding her. "Ellie, maybe you should take a break? You've been talking for a long time already. Drink something. Have a cookie. Take your time to feel a little better before you go on."

The sweets pulled Ellie back from her apathy, but she still wasn't the bright girl Tom had seen glimpses of before. Ellie didn't wait long to continue her story, driven by a strange need to tell Tom everything all at once.

"The day after father walked away, he was back, and I froze. I had really convinced myself he wouldn't do it anymore. But he did. He flipped me over and still I didn't move. Even with the lube he brought it hurt like hell. Sometimes he was almost nice, but other times when he looked at me like he looked at Jef, there was nothing he cared about. He was empty at those times.

"Father never took my virginity. Just my mouth and my ass. He said mom would've wanted me to be a virgin when I married."

By now, Ellie's tears had come flooding back, but her voice had regained some of its life. Tom squeezed her against him, and she hid her face into his shoulder before she went on.

"Jef was still too young to understand what happened in my room. All he knew was that he had to avoid father went he left my room or he'd be beaten. Two months before you found me, Jef was hit by a bus. He'd been riding his bike after father beat him, and he swerved all of a sudden. Never had a chance. He died instantly. I knew he wasn't in any shape to ride his bike when he left, but keeping him home would've been cruel. I'll never forgive my father for what happened to Jef.

"It felt like my heart got ripped out at the funeral. Such a sweet little boy, dead. I'd wanted to take him away from my father once I had a job and could afford a place to stay. But that can never be now. He never escaped. I felt nothing for weeks afterwards. I didn't even notice father had been leaving me alone.

"Two weeks before I left, father tried to come into my room again, and I fought him. I was furious at him for letting his son die. He shouted back that Jef was a murderer and that he was glad to see the little bastard dead. I had to leave then, but I needed the cash from my account. He always gave me an allowance, while Jef got nothing. Father never found out I used it to buy things for Jef.

"I withdrew the money, made my preparations and left on father's night out. I wanted to find a cheap place to stay in the city, but I got lost and I was looking for someone to help me when someone grabbed me. He forced me to the ground, and what happened next is still blurry, but I remember the cold and then the pain.

"All I know from afterwards is thinking I couldn't go to the hospital, or they'd call father and he'd come for me. I also know you carried me upstairs. The rest's vague. I know someone washed me and that there was a doctor. The first thing I clearly remember is your face and what you told me, the way you looked at me. Worried and sad. I didn't know you, but those few minutes told me so much about you. You said I was free to leave, but I didn't want to. And so I stayed. Because of you. I think I trust you. And Ruth."

"Come here, Ellie."

Ellie turned back to Tom and hid her face in his shirt. He put his arms around her ever so carefully. She seemed fragile as brittle glass. As if the years of abuse had hollowed her out. They had eroded her reserves, prevented her from being a normal girl.

Tom picked her up, a featherweight in his arms. Back in his bedroom he settled in his bouncy chair and rocked Ellie like a small child. She needed a loving touch. Starved for the warmth that such closeness brought her, Ellie could feel safe encircled by his strong, familiar arms. As he stroked her back, Tom said "I'm sorry about Jef. Why don't we go see his grave, so you can tell him you're healing. Tell him you got away and that you're safe now. That when the time is ripe you'll maybe find somebody to love."

"No, Tom. I won't find someone. But I'll talk to Jef, I'd really like that. Thank you. Thank you so much. I never told anybody. You can't... I can't tell you how much this means to me. I just..."

Ellie wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face in his shoulder. Neither of them moved, content to just enjoy the small pleasure of bouncing up and down in the bouncy chair. Tom stroked Ellie's back and said, "Do you think you could tell Ruth what you told me?"

"I... I'll try."

"That's plenty, Ellie. That's plenty."

Tom couldn't get rid of his sadness. Ellie had given up on love. She'd said as much. A provoking thought that made him feel out of his depth. How could he do anything about that? He didn't know, but he hoped he'd find out.

calm  

Mar 14, 2018 in bdsm

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